time after time
Mar 20, 76
20 Replies
Cygnus Essair @ May 24, 2018, 02:41 PM
light from the shadows
102 Posts 17 Years Nonbinary Dalmasca Warlord House Essair Played by Esmera
Is this your salvation? Is this all you can give? I will not stand in reflection of someone else's dream.
Kassandros arched an eyebrow. "When did actual 'okay' get added to the list?" he asked. And no, he did remember neither he nor Lycaon had actually agreed to that 'alive and in working order,' bit. He wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but, apparently at least one of them was adding new things to the terms. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you got official business agreements in writing. "I'm confused, I'd have figured you'd not want to make things more complicated for yourself." Kassandros had many enemies. Some? Some played dirty. Oh, some played really dirty, and quite frankly, that was neither Sandalio's problem, or Lycaon's.

"... side note, I found Lycaon's sister. Not the sister I was looking for, though." Ironic.

Well, that depended. Which 'problem' was he talking about? Because truthfully, Cygnus had a lot of them, and Kassandros wasn't entirely sure some of them needed to be told. He did and did not trust Sandalio, go figure that one. Okay, no, he did, he just... knew his knee-jerk reaction was liable to be unpleasant? There was no gentle way of explaining Cygnus' misinterpretation of his own feelings that somehow ended with them being fuck buddies. And Kassandros understood it well enough to know that was bad. That was very bad. And. Maybe that should just stay in the darkest part of the proverbial closet.

"Define problem," Kassandros finally said. "He has a few. Being spoilt, however, is, believe it or not, not one. Rather the opposite. He's essentially a twelve-year-old perpetually begging for attention. Any attention, good or bad. If I'm yelling at him, I'm paying attention, no?" Unfortunately, this often led to them going in argument circles, because Cygnus would typically say whatever came to mind, if it meant Kass kept bickering with him. But funny enough, he never did this with Icarus. Partially because Icarus rarely ever countered Cygnus, but Kassandros had to wonder if there was another reason, and what that other reason was. He didn't know.

Neither he, nor the light, could see into mens' hearts. And the sad thing, maybe, was that Kassandros should get it, Cygnus was a triplet, too, but he didn't understand hardly anything that went on in his little head.

80 Posts 24 Years male Macenia Commoner House Essair Played by Lenara
"About when I decided the terms you gave were too vague." Sandalio admitted in a mild tone. Which wasn't exactly fair, but well, alive and in working order meant different things to different people. It wasn't exactly the first time Sandalio had noticed that particular quirk, either. His definition was just, apparently, a little more demanding than Kassandros'. If they were being honest, it wasn't a bad thing, but it was a little concerning that the relatively new guard seemed to care more for his life than Kass himself did.

"Adding a small amount to try and keep you working at reasonably close to full capacity seemed worth it to me." Was what Sandalio said finally. He didn't really know what full capacity was for Kass, but he was pretty sure merely 'alive' wasn't it.

Hm. "I'll be honest, I didn't know Lycaon had another sister."  Not that it was extremely important, he supposed. Just saying. Then again there was probably a lot about Alasdair that he didn't know - the guy didn't talk about his life before slavery much, even after being reunited with his sister.

Sandalio was going to answer that, but as it turned out Kassandros continued talking anyway, and the Macenian listened. It seemed to sum up the issue at its heart - though it didn't tell Sandalio very much. "Well that sounds like it might be the start of it at least." Yeah, it did. It didn't quite explain why Kassandros and Icarus didn't seem to have that problem, but different people parsed things differently too.

It said a decent amount though, about either their family life or Cygnus himself. Either he was the sort that absolutely always wanted attention, and nothing was enough. Or... someone had spent an awful lot of time neglecting him. And if one of them had been neglected, it wasn't hard to imagine they all may have been. "Mostly, I was just wondering what exactly might be making him act like a jerk within ten minutes of being home." Since, well, most people would at least enjoy the company of their family for a while before picking fights.

light from the shadows
102 Posts 17 Years Nonbinary Dalmasca Warlord House Essair Played by Esmera
Is this your salvation? Is this all you can give? I will not stand in reflection of someone else's dream.
Too vague, huh? Kassandros couldn't really argue with that, if he was being honest about it. Very rarely did Kassandros lie, but, he often omitted a large majority of what counted as the truth, too; it was unlikely he'd ever really admit to any of that. Albeit, for a moment, he wasn't sure why that was too vague, and then thought about it from the angle of if Kassandros had handed Sandalio and Alasdair to Icarus, and not him, and it made sense. But only marginally more.

Get up.
We've been doing this all month, can't I do something else?
I said get up, boy.
I'm tired.
And no one fucking cares, get up!

Yeah. No one fucking cared. Why this guy seemed to, Kassandros had no idea. It wasn't really his problem.

"Older," Kass explained. "May not even remember her much." But even if he did, it wasn't like one tended to really talk about said missing family members, much. Quite frankly, Sandalio probably only really knew about his younger sister because he'd met her, in House Kenleigh. Unfortunate, but, well, when you'd lost as much as the slaves in Dalmasca and Jihon had, you stopped talking about it, because it was pointless, because some slave owners could be rather the cruel fuckers.

Kassandros flicked his gaze up, at Sandalio, for a moment, dropped it back to the desk, idly flicking through papers. He still didn't terribly want to bother with it, but, nobody fucking cared. When one was the leader of their House, they had to grow up, learn to suck it up, and do it anyway. A breath in, slight bit of a tired-sounding huff, and he pulled a small stack across the desk to him and picked up his pen. "You heard him," Kassandros said. "He hates me. Can't say I blame him. Suppose if I was in his shoes, I'd hate me too." Well, given Kassandros already did...

"I'm not sure why it matters, it's just stupid ancient history family stuff that I can't change." He'd thought it before. He'd probably keep thinking it, off and on, for the rest of his split-second glimmer of a life. How ironic, how much he knew, and how little he could actually change. "Either that or he's just overstimulated. He gets overwhelmed by existing, sometimes, it makes him kind of irritable."

80 Posts 24 Years male Macenia Commoner House Essair Played by Lenara
Ah, older. "Well, maybe, maybe not. Alasdair isn't exactly forthcoming about many things." The gods knew it had taken ages to learn even his real name. Much less about his family. He knew the other was Macenian, he suspected probably one of the more tribal groups, like his own. And he knew that he had once been in house Salonus - and he only knew that because the brand was incredibly distinctive and it had gotten Lycaon some trouble. ... At least until the younger blood fighter had earned a modicum of respect defending himself from them. Of course, it helped that there were certain blood fighters in that stable that were completely intolerant of that sort of abuse among the slaves.

"Sure, I heard him. That doesn't mean I understood it." Not really, at least. "He's your brother, how in the world can you hate your own siblings?" He had a hard time imagining that even at Tris' worst Sandalio could really hate him. Be frustrated, disappointed - sure. But hate? That was too strong. Family was important and siblings were supposed to have each other's backs. He had a hard time fathoming that one of a triplet set of all things could possibly hate another.

It just... didn't make sense. And honestly what Kassandros had been asking him not to do had been for his own good. Lycaon would not have held back if the little brat was foolish enough to push too far. "You were genuinely protecting him from what would have happened if if he'd done that." Mildly. It was a stupid thing to get so upset about.

Sandalio shook his head. "I guess it doesn't." Finally, with a sigh. "I just can't help but feel like you shouldn't have to just... get over him treating you that way." Sandalio wouldn't pretend he understood why, exactly.

light from the shadows
102 Posts 17 Years Nonbinary Dalmasca Warlord House Essair Played by Esmera
Is this your salvation? Is this all you can give? I will not stand in reflection of someone else's dream.
"No," Kass agreed. "I guess he isn't." Of course, he still had yet to tell Kassandros he could use his real name, so, he didn't, despite knowing it. He didn't always get it right, but, Kass tried to remember what was his place and what wasn't. What really was his place, and wasn't, not what Dalmasca thought was right. Dalmasca was wrong about a lot of things, he'd learned that over the years, probably the hard way.

... Kassandros didn't know. Maybe because, from where Cygnus was sitting, Kass had taken everything away from him. Because he'd taken his mother away and chased her off by being so damn special. Because he'd murdered their father. Because he'd been the shining star of House Essair for the last... forever, really. Because even when their parents were both around, it was all about Kass. Because all the slaves adored him, for whatever fucking reason, and only marginally tolerated Cygnus. Because it was Kassandros that got them into the Warlord class, because it was Kassandros aiming to become a justicar, because it was Kassandros that founded the Cobras, because it was Kass that had all the plans and ideas. Because Kass was the one gunning for the Imperator seat, like he needed to be even more special.

Because Kassandros was absolutely everything Cygnus wasn't.

It wasn't like he tried to be. It wasn't like that was his intent. Cygnus had a way of making him question everything about himself, anyway, wonder if he was doing the right thing, wonder if maybe it'd be better to just tuck himself into a proverbial corner and be fucking quiet. It wasn't as if he'd live much longer, anyway, there was no sense in making the entire house depend on him, just so he could go and die and rip the carpet out from under them. Sometimes, Kassandros wasn't sure if he was somewhat intelligent, or abysmally stupid.

Well, welcome to Dalmasca. He didn't say that. He had no room to complain about it, certainly not to a slave. "And yet, I do," he said. "I'm sorry, would you mind just... leaving me alone, for a bit, please?" Oddly, the words came out, before he was really sure of them. But he did kind of want to be left alone. It wasn't important, and he still didn't get why Sandalio cared so much. The only other thing to do was tell Cygnus what he really thought, and they'd gotten into literal fights before. It wasn't really something Kassandros wanted a replay of.

80 Posts 24 Years male Macenia Commoner House Essair Played by Lenara
Some people were like that, they didn't like to talk about what they'd lost. Sandalio supposed he couldn't blame them. It wasn't like any of them were likely to ever get back any of what they had lost previously. There was no point in talking about it, no point in dwelling on what had once been. It only hurt more, to dwell on those things. Living in the now was important for a slave - they lost a lot, and they'd only lose more as time went on. Friends were sold, tolerable masters died. And life went on in its cycle - that was just the way things were.

It wasn't right, but it wasn't like Sandalio could do anything about it. No one person could - Dalmasca was, as Kassandros had put it once, sick. It was diseased, perhaps beyond repair.

A very slight wince towards the end there. Right, he'd pushed too far. He should have known better than that, given just how closed off Kassandros could be. The door had closed, proverbially, and he had made one too many fatal mistakes. He'd let his own feelings about the situation cloud his judgement and... that had ended about as well as he should have been able to predict, if he'd bothered to think about it for more than a moment or two.

"Of course." It was better not to keep pushing as it was. The request was a polite reminder - it was probably more of one than he deserved. Sandalio dipped his head just slightly when he spoke there, almost a bow. And then he withdrew from the room.

He wouldn't go far of course, assassins wouldn't stay away just because Kassandros was upset. But he would leave the room and try to make himself useful.

Sandalio found himself reminded of the discussion he'd had some time ago with Tristan. Walls of really thick ice indeed, and it was never going to be easy to get onto the other side of them.