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Messages - Valerius

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1
House Essair / save a little light for me
« on: Jun 23, 2018, 09:17 PM »
Snort. "Well, I suppose it's something of a blessing that you didn't this time." Running into Icarus in the hallway naked might be a bit strange. Running into Cygnus naked might have been downright terrifying after last night. Yes, it was much, much better that he'd at least been wearing bottoms. ... Probably only because they'd shared a bed last night but what was, was so to speak. And it only sort-of mattered how they'd gotten there.

Sandalio retrieved the sword he'd been going for and got that affixed to his hip while Kass was gone, so that he'd be ready for their trip when Kass was.

The Macenian raised an eyebrow slightly, obviously curious what Kassandros was going to say when he stopped himself. He didn't ask though, since apparently the sentence was changing now. It was probably something about how he could stay and how Sandalio didn't really need to come. But he did, so there was that. Sandalio didn't trust no one to give him trouble wherever he was going, Kass seemed to be a trouble magnet. And he was, if nothing else, worried about his master. Last night had been a rough night.

He thought he was probably right to be worried still.

Sandalio looked somewhat confused by the question. "Well I couldn't really stop you if you insisted." Carefully. "And if you demanded I leave your house I'm not sure I'd have a choice in that either." No, not really. If Kass insisted he leave he could argue but in the end, he'd have to either leave or be arrested. "But there's no where else for us to go. Home doesn't exist anymore, not really. And even if we could go back, what's the point? To be murdered on the frontlines or captured again in a year or two? No thanks. I'd rather stay here. At least here I have a decent master and a good idea of my place in the world." Was that an odd way of looking at it? Maybe it was.

"Freedom ... in some sense might be nice. But on the other hand, I'm not sure there's anywhere I'd rather be." ... That was strange, he knew that. And it was dangerous, he knew that too. But it was already said, so there was that.

"So where are we going, exactly?" Rather than asking why the question about being freed.

2
House Essair / save a little light for me
« on: Jun 21, 2018, 09:25 PM »
Sandalio hadn't been awake long, but he had decided almost immediately to go ahead and work on cleaning up the bathroom. Sure, master Essair could have gotten it but that didn't mean Sandalio saw a reason to leave the mess for him. There was plenty that Sandalio wasn't going to be able to put back to normal, like the broken tiles. But the coconut oil and glass, he could manage.

Kass was awake he realized after a few moments, as he could hear movement, a little. It was possible Kass was just rolling over in his sleep, but Sandalio didn't really think that was it. Ah, especially not after he heard that. He finished putting the glass he'd swept up into a container - which only took a moment, and then scrambled to follow after Kassandros down the hall.

Er. "Kassandros!" Calling out from the stairs, a little louder than necessary, oops. The Macenian descended a few steps after Kass, hoping he'd caught him before he actually got outside. "You should put on clothes first..." He sort of trailed off.

Either Kass had heard that, or he was going to have to remember on his own. Ah, but Sandalio should probably be grabbing a sword. ... Where were they going? It didn't matter, really. It didn't matter, he could just follow Kass and that wasn't a big deal, but if he could put clothes on before they went wherever they were going, that would probably be for the best.

Clothing was generally not optional, and all he was wearing right now was what he'd slept in the night before.

3
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 20, 2018, 06:08 PM »
"...Well that's fair. But that's my room and the bed you gave me. Not your bed. I wasn't sure if it might be different." Apparently not. Apparently they shared Kassandros' bed tonight - that wasn't so bed, of course. He'd have to be careful not to spread too far into Kass' space, but he could manage that well enough. Or, he hoped he could. But the bed wasn't small at least, and if Kass didn't want them touching, he was pretty sure they could avoid it.

Sandalio did indeed notice that little blush, when he turned to properly face him for a moment. But of course, he didn't comment on it - it wasn't necessary. If it confused him, it didn't show - though it did. Was it really so strange to ask him to stay? Maybe to Kass it was. Sandalio didn't exactly understand him all the time.

Gray eyes half closed in thought at that particular question. There were.. dozens of ways he could answer that, and they all depended entirely on how they had met in this hypothetical life. "I can't really answer that." Finally. "There are too many things that would affect that in this hypothetical. How did we meet? Are you a random nobleman who came over to the House I was in? Likely I wouldn't have a chance to be anything but distantly cordial. Are you a blood fighter? I try to be careful not to make friends with someone I might have to face one day." He shrugged. "There are other options in other lives. I don't know what would have drawn us together, so I do not know if we would have been friends." No, he didn't.

"But I'm nice to people when I can be. I can be mouthy, but I try not to start trouble. I like to think that if the circumstances weren't totally against us that yes, I'd still be kind to you. Even if you had given me nothing you have a good heart, Kassandros." He was just walled away from everyone else because of whatever trauma he carried.

Gentle he took Kass' hand and began to lead them towards the bed. They were supposed to be getting a little rest.

4
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 18, 2018, 09:23 PM »
Erm. Okay, that was not something Sandalio had expected, and his expression probably said so, despite the fact that his body remained as relaxed as it had been when Kassandros attached to it. Ah, okay. Sandalio stood still for a moment, patting one of the arms wrapped around him lightly. He didn't ask, figuring Kass would get around to saying what was on his mind in a moment or two. And of course, he was trying to process a little too because that was extremely unexpected.

That phrase had sounded like a dismissal to Sandalio, but apparently he'd been wrong.

Uh. Wait had he just - okay. His mind was still reeling, but that was okay. Sandalio thought he could work with this. "I can, if that's what you want." He said after only a moment of quiet. It was strange to think of Kass asking him to stay, given the conversation they'd been having, given what had happened tonight. And then it also wasn't.

Some people just... didn't want to be alone after something like that. Kass liked to pretend he wasn't most people, liked to pretend he was indestructible... but it wasn't true. Sandalio of all people had figured that out. "Come one." Softly as he turned around, intending to lead Kass to bed, apparently.

... How were they - did Kass want him in the bed or on the floor? That seemed like such an odd question to ask, but it was also probably the only way to get the correct answer the first time. He didn't necessarily have a great track record for guessing at the moment. "This uh, may be a silly question but where exactly do you... want me?"

5
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 17, 2018, 01:36 PM »
The Macenian had no idea what was going on in Kassandros' head. He wasn't sure if he'd made any sort of impression, or if he'd just managed to upset Kass again. It was hard to tell with him at times, but Sandalio knew all he could do was deal with it as it came. He'd planted the seeds, so to speak. Hopefully the Dalmascan at least thought about them. That was really all he could hope for.

It wasn't like Kass was under any obligation to listen to him or consider his thoughts. But Sandalio did hope that he would think about it at least in the context of what this was going to do to his brothers in the longer run. Kass didn't seem to care about himself but if he could see the angle from their point of view then maybe... maybe he'd consider it important enough to think about for more than a second or two.

Well, that was... yeah that was fair. Sandalio nodded a little. "You're probably right." Sleep was a good idea, if nothing else. Reluctantly he let go of Kassandros and took a step back, away from him.

"Goodnight, Kassandros."

He wasn't really sure a break would help, but maybe. It'd at least give Kass the space and time to think about it. Sandalio started to move quietly across the room, intending at that point to return to his own space.

[Yay the feels train is approaching its final stop. ... for this thread]

6
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 15, 2018, 10:40 AM »
"But it isn't working." Calmly. "Instead of him turning into you, he turned on you." Sandalio really wasn't sure that was any better. It was kind of funny though, listening to his concern about Cygnus turning into him given Kass kept saying he was fine and implying there was nothing wrong with the way he handled things. If the growl worried Sandalio, he didn't show it. "I know you're trying to protect him from reality, I can see that but..." He shook his head slightly and sighed, obviously at a loss for how to say what he wanted to. Because what he wanted to say was that protecting him from reality, shielding him from the consequences of his actions, those things weren't helping. Cygnus couldn't continue to exist like this.

Not only was it terrible for Kassandros, but the reality was that Kassandros had said it himself. He was dying and he couldn't protect Cygnus for forever, and Sandalio didn't think Icarus would do much better under those particular circumstances. What happened when Kass died, exactly? Cygnus wasn't going to magically understand the world at that point. "But even if it does work for now it won't work forever." Is what he finally said to complete his earlier thought, even though it wasn't exactly what he'd meant. It embodied enough of it, at least.

Sandalio made a sound that clearly indicated what he thought about Kass 'scaring' away their mother. No, she was a grown adult woman, she could decide things like that herself. She had chosen to leave them, if that was indeed why. "Your mother chose to leave. You were a child still, you needed her, she chose to ignore that duty and leave." Flatly. No, Kass didn't deserve the 'blame' for that. "And from where I'm standing when you're telling him what not to do, you seem to be doing from a place of keeping him from meeting consequences for his actions. Which I suppose he may not understand, but this comes back to for someone who was very much not spoiled, as you put it, he acts like a spoilt brat." Oh someone said no to me how dare they. That was not a way to live.

"You're right. I don't like it." Flatly. "You're also looking at it entirely incorrectly." Canius and Cygnus. Pff. What did this one know about- later. That was a whole other can of worms. "Like you said you're going to be gone soon, whether I particularly like that or not is not important. The point is, you can't make the changes you want to make. Even if you do make them, you're going to die almost immediately after and... what then?" He paused for a second to compose his thoughts slightly. "I'll tell you - Dalmasca is going to go back to the way it was. Icarus seems like a nice kid but he doesn't have your backbone. You've protected him and Cygnus beneath your branches for so long that when you fall... They're going to crumble too, and if it's not immediately it will still happen as the rot of Dalmasca presses in on them on all sides."

One person, one too-short life couldn't make the changes he wanted. And those who were posed to follow in his footsteps were incapable of doing what he had done. Maybe Icarus could learn, but there wasn't time for him to learn. "I know you don't have any reason to listen to me. Or to care about what I think but..." Finally after another moment or so. "What you want is a valiant thing, and if you had a full life time to do it, and to teach your successor, then you could do amazing things. But as much as I'm sure you don't want to think about what happens when you die, I think you're going to have to."

Because what was the point in destroying his relationship with his brothers, and destroying himself too if everything he worked for was going to shatter within months of his death?

7
House Essair / evolve
« on: Jun 13, 2018, 11:48 AM »
Sandalio just sort of snorted. "You'll see eventually, I'm sure." He was confusing. Thetis had been too, but it had turned out she was a slave like them, in the end. Kassandros though... was just confusing. And he knew basically everything. And so far, Sandalio wasn't sure what to expect of him, exactly. But he couldn't help but remember what Tris had told him, about the slave who had touched someone without their consent. Yeah, some how... that ended up being worse, in his head.

Vitus wasn't sure how he felt about that cryptic answer, but he didn't press for more information just then.

"I'm not sure either, but we have a good healer at home who can take care of it." Sandalio was confident about that much at least. "Ah, older than that, I think, but I'm not sure how much older." No, he wasn't really sure of Kassandros' exact age. But he thought he was probably older than Missa, at least.

Well, the good news was, Sandalio rode with rather long stirrups, thanks to having long legs. It would make it easier for Missa to get up he thought. "I think it'll probably be easier for us if I get up first so I can help you up behind me." He was also not quite the rider Kassandros probably was, and he didn't want to hurt Missa trying to get up after her, because unless he put her in front of him on the saddle, he was likely to need a little extra space to pull it off.

It didn't take him long to mount, and then he shifted as far forward as he could on the saddle, removing his left leg from the stirrup and shifting that up so she could use the stirrup as leverage. He held his free hand out to her as well, while his right hand kept Silverheart still.

For a moment, Nikias was too surprised by Kassandros speaking his real name to actually respond to the request. "How-" He shook his head. "Never mind." It didn't matter how he knew, exactly. He just... did. Finally Nikias obeyed and mounted the indicated 'Starstrider', and then slid back as much as he safely could to make sure Kassandros had room to mount.

8
House Essair / smokescreen
« on: Jun 11, 2018, 10:10 AM »
"...That's interesting." Had pulled Tris directly out of a house, and his brother thought threats must have been tossed around due to the way his original owner reacted. On the other hand, it didn't really surprise Sandalio to learn that Kassandros probably wasn't above dealing in threats. His reputation had to have come from somewhere after all. Those didn't tend to just grow out of thin air, after all. "...I wonder if that is what's going to happen with Sepheres then." Almost amused sounding.

After all, Sepheres wasn't really used to being left to his own devices. Eventually he'd probably keep out something to do to keep himself busy. Technically Victoria's he may have been, but that didn't mean that was the upbringing he had had. And while that wasn't fair, by any means, it was what had happened and that was what the kid was bouncing back from. Or, trying. Sandalio didn't think it was something one ever entirely got over, if Lycaon's scars from Salonus were anything to judge by.

A snort. "A blood fighter, be careful?" Sandalio's tone held an odd amusement to it that wasn't quite... funny. "Alright, I'm joking." Mostly, sort of? Did he care? ... Maybe he did. "I'll keep the warning in mind." He would, but he couldn't promise anything. He didn't want to die, certainly. It was nothing he'd ever sought out, but Sandalio wasn't afraid of dying either. And he didn't think... he didn't think it mattered what he wanted in the end. He'd either survive or he wouldn't.

"So am I." And just... leaving that alone.

"You're probably right." Stalking him was less terrible than other things. And of course, there was the fact that losing Kassandros would likely be bad for them all, even if he was confusing. At least his house was decent. If he died who knew what might become of them next. Sandalio... didn't really want to tempt fate again, honestly. He would, eventually, he was sure. "Bit relieving to know he probably won't take it terribly though."

9
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 11, 2018, 09:11 AM »
Sandalio frowned. "No, not better you than someone else." His tone was surprisingly bland given the surge of temper he'd felt at those words. "He shouldn't be forcing himself on anyone, much less his own brother." Just, setting that there. "And I know you said he doesn't understand, but that... he's seventeen years old, it's not an excuse at that age." He was old enough to learn that his actions were hurting people. "Not touching people without their permission was literally the first rule you laid down when we got here." And while in most houses that wasn't so, it was in this house. Sandalio saw no reason for that rule not to apply to the brothers too - the quieter one certainly seemed to act as if it did.

"Mm." Sandalio was quiet for a moment, considering that. "It is strange that your visions would give you everything but that. ... Even if she was dead the closure might be nice." Knowing if she'd abandoned them or if she'd died or... just knowing what really happened. But all Kassandros remembered was screaming, that was... sad, actually. Even if it couldn't be changed, not knowing had to be hard for someone who was used to knowing basically everything.

"I wouldn't say that." Sandalio said carefully, trying to choose his words well. "You're doing the best you can with what you have." Yes, he was, and maybe that wasn't enough for Kassandros, but it was still the truth. "But you have people around you who could help if you'd let them." And with that help, maybe he would have better luck getting precisely what he wanted done, done. Sandalio wasn't certain that had come out quite right, but it was closer than it could have been, so he left that alone for the moment.

But Kassandros needed to let others help. Or he needed to find a path that was going to do him far, far less damage. Because this? This was going to rip him apart at this rate, and Sandalio didn't really know how to stop that if Kassandros wouldn't lean on anyone else.

10
House Essair / evolve
« on: Jun 10, 2018, 10:54 PM »
Vitus inclined his head slightly, acknowledging what Kassandros had said. "Alright." He wasn't sure what to make of what his new master had said, exactly. He'd offered to buy him before actually getting the answer to his question, which was still very strange to the Macenian. But he could manage a small farm. A larger operation... well. He said he'd have help. They'd wait and see what this one considered 'help' to be in that case.

"Missa." With a small smile in her general direction. It was restrained of course, but Missa was going home with them, so he wasn't too worried about the damage that could be done in the next few moments. They'd go home soon, and everything would be just fine now. Missa would be with them. Jihon... could have been worse, to be brutally honest. But he was still glad she hadn't been sent - at least Kassandros' house was decent.

What Kass had done to the slaver had apparently been strong enough to knock the guy completely over, which amused Sandalio just slightly. The guy certainly deserved it for daring to say something like that in front of them.

Remember that saying, about how one should never tempt fate? Sandalio had forgotten it, for just a moment too long it seemed. Everything seemed to happen simultaneously too fast and too slow at the same time. But before Sandalio could even begin to react, the slaver had gone from being about to hit Missa with the whip for something she hadn't done, to the whip actually hitting Kassandros and wrapping around his arm.

Sandalio growled slightly, but did resist moving forward.

"...Is our master always this insane?" The older male decided to say in Macenian.
Sandalio snorted sharply. "Some days, I think he's worse." Sandalio's tone was a bit clipped still. Kassandros had already been injured once today, and now this.

...Wait had he heard that right? For being forceful with Medea? He'd literally just hit Kassandros with that whip, and he was taking the hessions back for her? Sandalio was never going to understand Kassandros, absolutely never. "...For being overly forceful?" After a moment, when he managed to get his voice completely under control.

11
City Streets / time after time
« on: Jun 10, 2018, 06:07 PM »
Some people were like that, they didn't like to talk about what they'd lost. Sandalio supposed he couldn't blame them. It wasn't like any of them were likely to ever get back any of what they had lost previously. There was no point in talking about it, no point in dwelling on what had once been. It only hurt more, to dwell on those things. Living in the now was important for a slave - they lost a lot, and they'd only lose more as time went on. Friends were sold, tolerable masters died. And life went on in its cycle - that was just the way things were.

It wasn't right, but it wasn't like Sandalio could do anything about it. No one person could - Dalmasca was, as Kassandros had put it once, sick. It was diseased, perhaps beyond repair.

A very slight wince towards the end there. Right, he'd pushed too far. He should have known better than that, given just how closed off Kassandros could be. The door had closed, proverbially, and he had made one too many fatal mistakes. He'd let his own feelings about the situation cloud his judgement and... that had ended about as well as he should have been able to predict, if he'd bothered to think about it for more than a moment or two.

"Of course." It was better not to keep pushing as it was. The request was a polite reminder - it was probably more of one than he deserved. Sandalio dipped his head just slightly when he spoke there, almost a bow. And then he withdrew from the room.

He wouldn't go far of course, assassins wouldn't stay away just because Kassandros was upset. But he would leave the room and try to make himself useful.

Sandalio found himself reminded of the discussion he'd had some time ago with Tristan. Walls of really thick ice indeed, and it was never going to be easy to get onto the other side of them.

12
City Streets / time after time
« on: Jun 09, 2018, 09:26 PM »
Ah, older. "Well, maybe, maybe not. Alasdair isn't exactly forthcoming about many things." The gods knew it had taken ages to learn even his real name. Much less about his family. He knew the other was Macenian, he suspected probably one of the more tribal groups, like his own. And he knew that he had once been in house Salonus - and he only knew that because the brand was incredibly distinctive and it had gotten Lycaon some trouble. ... At least until the younger blood fighter had earned a modicum of respect defending himself from them. Of course, it helped that there were certain blood fighters in that stable that were completely intolerant of that sort of abuse among the slaves.

"Sure, I heard him. That doesn't mean I understood it." Not really, at least. "He's your brother, how in the world can you hate your own siblings?" He had a hard time imagining that even at Tris' worst Sandalio could really hate him. Be frustrated, disappointed - sure. But hate? That was too strong. Family was important and siblings were supposed to have each other's backs. He had a hard time fathoming that one of a triplet set of all things could possibly hate another.

It just... didn't make sense. And honestly what Kassandros had been asking him not to do had been for his own good. Lycaon would not have held back if the little brat was foolish enough to push too far. "You were genuinely protecting him from what would have happened if if he'd done that." Mildly. It was a stupid thing to get so upset about.

Sandalio shook his head. "I guess it doesn't." Finally, with a sigh. "I just can't help but feel like you shouldn't have to just... get over him treating you that way." Sandalio wouldn't pretend he understood why, exactly.

13
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 09, 2018, 10:32 AM »
Sandalio could sort of see where he was coming from, but it was still happening. Arguably gentler or not, he was still being raped by his own brother. He didn't say that at first, instead maintaining his quiet. "You know, that doesn't change the terribleness of what he's doing." Was what Sandalio finally said. "Whether you believe he knows what he's doing or not, whether he deliberately makes it more painful than necessary or not... it's still happening." And maybe people had hurt Kassandros worse than that before too, but it didn't change that this time - and possibly many times before - the person doing the hurting was his own brother. Sandalio could imagine that was the thing that had eventually upset Kass about it.

It was his brother. One's brothers weren't supposed to add to the hurt heaped upon them. They were supposed to have each other's backs when maybe no one else did. But instead Kassandros had someone who hated him enough to do literally anything to hurt him, it seemed.

Sandalio just held him for a moment, seeming to relax just a hair then. He didn't know when the last time someone had hugged him was? That was... kind of sad, actually. All on it's own. "I see." Well, maybe he'd been right then, and Kass did need a hug. And that was... a pretty song actually. He didn't comment though, not wanting Kass to stop since it seemed to be helping him calm down a little.

Oh. Wow, not even his brothers, since he was six? "That's... a long time." Quietly. The last time they saw her. That was odd phrasing, but Sandalio wasn't sure exactly if it meant she'd left, or if she'd died or... something else. It was hard to say. "It must have been hard losing your mom so young." Perhaps it didn't matter if she'd left or died. The effect was the same to a six year old, after all.

How long had they been alone in this house, just the three brothers? Sandalio tried to remember, when the last time he'd heard about the head of house before Kassandros was, but honestly, he'd never paid enough attention to gossip that didn't affect the house he was in directly. And then his brothers had been away and it had just been Kass and the slaves. Well, Sandalio supposed that might have been a relief, all things considered.

14
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 09, 2018, 12:06 AM »
Sandalio stared at him for a moment, somewhere between confused and something else, even he wasn't entirely sure how to put words to it, exactly. This.. was easier? What in the world qualified as a bad night for him? He was almost afraid to find out what qualified as worse than one's brother attempting to rape them, and then having his life threatened for it. "...How... is this an easier night?" The tone was curious, but mostly controlled. Surely there were much easier than this? Sandalio could barely fathom how that was possible.

Man, this kid. The Macenian was officially rather sure that Kassandros had had a harder life than many slaves. He wondered, for a moment, if he knew that. There wasn't really a way to ask that, and honestly, Sandalio wasn't sure he'd ask even if he could think of a way. Kass would deny it either way, if his insistence that everything was 'fine' was anything to go by.

Er. Okay, that wasn't the reaction he'd expected. That blank stare... Sandalio wondered if he should back pedal here and make sure he knew it was fine and that the guard realized it was a stupid thing to have asked him. But he didn't manage to say anything instead waiting to see what Kassandros was going to say, if anything. Because he was, honestly, almost afraid to speak again until Kassandros had decided how to react to that.

Okay, that wasn't so bad. Sandalio let go of the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, and did stand up rather immediately - though slowly. And he approached Kass before allowing himself to think anymore about it, wrapping the other in a very loose hug. He was paying attention though, in case Kass gave any signs that he wanted Sandalio to back off again. "...I realize that was a weird question. Sorry about that." His voice was very low, given their close proximity.

Was there anything in Kassandros' life that wasn't going to make Sandalio sad or angry? ... At this point, maybe not.

15
House Essair / endless rain
« on: Jun 07, 2018, 11:52 PM »
Sandalio watched Kassandros quietly. He wasn't sure what to say, and for a moment, he wasn't sure what was going on in Kassandros' mind. It didn't help that he wasn't sure what to ask at this point to continue getting Kass to open up here. It was... there was a lot here, and a lot of it was important. And of course, Kass had already had a pretty rough evening and maybe pushing much further was a bad idea.

But... if he let it slip away now, then it was hard to say when he'd have a chance to make any real progress again. Getting behind the walls had been a stroke of luck and timing - and if he let himself be walled out again, Kass would make it harder next time, he was sure. But he still didn't now where to go with this.

So his brother hated him, and apparently raped him when drunk. Seriously, why hadn't Kassandros just let him hurt the kid? ... Yes, okay he was still angry. Brushing that aside mentally because right this second wasn't a great time to deal with that, he'd revisit it later if he still felt it. Kass obviously liked Cygnus even if the kid was a complete wreck. Which, that was fair, they were triplets. Of course Kassandros loved him. So... realistically what could be done to mitigate the damage that his brought could cause?

"Don't be sorry." Sandalio said a moment later. "You've had a rough night. It's normal to be upset." No kidding there.

... Actually he really just wanted to. Hm. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to ask. All Kass could do was say no, right? Right. "Can I hug you?" It was an odd question, and it sounded kind of silly to his own ears. But really, he thought Kass probably needed a hug and he really genuinely wanted to hug him. It wouldn't really do much though some people found it comforting. He... had no idea if Kass was one of those people or not. But if he was, it'd be nice to be able to offer some comfort, all things considered.

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